17 Signs You Like Someone

This is how u know u like/love some1.

SEVENTEEN:
You look at their profile constantly.

SIXTEEN:
When you're on the phone with them late at night and they hang up, you still miss them even when it was just two minutes ago.

FIFTEEN:
You read their Texts and Ims Over and over again.

FOURTEEN:
You walk really slow when you're with them.

THIRTEEN:
You feel shy whenever they're around.

ELEVEN:
When you think about them, your heart beats faster but slower at the same time.

TEN:
You smile when you hear their voice.

NINE:
When you look at them, you can't see the other people around you, you just see him/her.

EIGHT:
You start listening toslow songs while thinking about them.

SEVEN:
They're all you think about.

SIX:
You get high just from their scent.

FIVE:
You realize you're always smiling when you're looking at them.

FOUR:
You would do anything for them, just to see them.

THREE:
While reading this, there was one person on your mind this whole time.

TWO:
You were so busy thinking about that person, you didnt notice number twelve was missing

ONE:
You just scrolled up to check & are now silently laughing at yourself.

Have fun knowing that u are a sucker for him/her

The Horse and the Chicken

On the farm lived a chicken and a horse, both of whom loved to play together. One day, the two were playing, when the horse fell into a bog and began to sink. Scared for his life, the horse whinnied for the chicken to go get the farmer for help! Off the chicken ran, back to the farm.
Arriving at the farm, he searched and searched for the farmer, but to no avail, for he had gone to town with the only tractor. Running around, the chicken spied the farmer’s new Harley. Finding the keys in the ignition, the chicken sped off with a length of rope hoping he still had time to save his friend’s life.
Back at the bog, the horse was surprised, but happy, to see the chicken arrive on the shiny Harley, and he managed to get a hold of the loop of rope the chicken tossed to him. After tying the other end to the rear bumper of the farmer’s bike, the chicken then drove slowly forward and, with the aid of the powerful bike, rescued the horse! Happy and proud, the chicken rode the Harley back to the farmhouse, and the farmer was none the wiser when he returned.
The friendship between the two animals was cemented: Best Buddies, Best Pals.
A few weeks later, the chicken fell into a mud pit, and soon, he too, began to sink and cried out to the horse to save his life. The horse thought a moment, walked over, and straddled the large puddle. Looking underneath, he told the chicken to grab his hangy-down thing and he could then lift him out of the pit. The chicken got a good grip, and the horse pulled him up and out, saving his life.
The moral of the story? (Yes, there’s a moral!)
"When You’re Hung Like A Horse, You Don’t Need A Harley To Pick Up Chicks!"

Remember the 90's

Just wanted to remind people of the good ole days.
You're a 90's kid if:
You've ever ended a sentence with the word "PSYCHE!"
You can sing the rap to "The Fresh Prince Of Bel Air"
You remember when Kurt Cobain, Tu Pac, River Phoenix, and Selena died.
You know that "WOAH" comes from Joey from "Blossom" and that "How Rude!" comes from Stephanie from "Full House"
You remember when it was actually worth getting up earlyon a Saturday to watch cartoons.
You got super excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class at school.
You remember reading "Goosebumps"
You know the profound meaning of "Wax on, wax off"
You have pondered why Smurfette was the only female smurf.
You took plastic cartoon lunch boxes to school.
You danced to "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls, Females: had a new motto, Males: got a whole lot gay-er. (so tell me what you want, what you really really want.)
You remember the craze, then the banning of slap bracelets and slam books.
You still get the urge to say "NOT" after (almost) every sentence...Not...
Where in the world is Carmen San Diego? was both a game and a TV game show.
Captain Planet.
You knew that Kimberly, the pink ranger, and Tommy, the green Ranger were meant to be together.
When playing power rangers with friends you fought over who got to be who............and still all ended up being Tommy.
You remember when super nintendo's became popular.
You remember watching home alone 1, 2 , and 3........and tried to pull the pranks on "intruders"
"I've fallen and I can't get up"
You remember going to the skating rink before there were inline skates
Two words... Trapper Keeper.
You never got injured on a Slip 'n' Slide
You wore socks over leggings scrunched down
"Miss Mary Mack, Mack, Mack, all dressed in black, black, black, with silver buttons, buttons, buttons, all down her back, back, back" SHE ASKED HER MOTHER MOTHER MOTHER FOR FIFTY CENTS CENTS CENTS TO SEE THE ELEPHANTS PHANTS PHANTS JUMP OVER THE FENCE THE FENCE THE FENCEhe jumped so high high high he touched the sky sky sky and he didnt come back back back til the forth of july ly ly he jumped so low ow ow he stubbed his toe toe toe and thats the end end end of the elephants show show show
You remember boom boxes vs. cd players
You remember New Kids on The Block when they were cool
You knew all the characters names and their life stories on "Saved By The Bell"
You played and/or collected "Pogs"
You had at least one Tamagotchi, GigaPet or Nano and brought it everywhere
You watched the original Care Bears, My Little Pony, and Ninja Turtles
NANCY DREW AND THE HARDY BOYS WERE THE BEST MYSTERY BOOKS
Yikes pencils and erasers were the stuff!
All your school supplies were "Lisa Frank" brand.(pencils.notebooks.binders.etc.)
You remember when the new Beanie Babies were always sold out.
You used to wear those stick on earings, not only on your ears, but at the corners of your eyes.
You remember a time before the WB.
You've gotten creeped out by "Are You Afraid of the Dark?"
You know the Macarena by heart.
"Talk to the hand" ... enough said
You thought Brain woud finally take over the world
You always said, "Then why don't you marry it!"
You remember when everyone went slinky crazy.
You remember when razor scooters were cool.

When we were younger:
Before the MySpace frenzy...
Before the Internet & text messaging...
Before Sidekicks & iPods...
Before MIKE JONES...
Before PlayStation2 or X-BOX...
...Back when you put off the 5 hours of homework you had every night.
When light up sneakers were cool.
When you rented VHS tapes, not DVDs.
When gas was $0.95 a gallon & Caller ID was a new thing.
When we recorded stuff on VCRs & paid $3.50 for a movie.
When we called the radio station to request songs to hear off our walkmans.
When 2Pac and Biggie where alive.
When the Chicago Bulls were the best team ever.
Way back.
Tag.
Get Over Here!!!! means something to you.
Hide-n-Go Seek at dusk.
Red Light, Green Light.
Heads Up 7 Up.
Playing Kickball & Dodgeball until your porch light came on.
Hopskotch.
Slip-n-Slides.
Tree Houses.
Hula Hoops.
HELLO....HOT WHEELS!!!!!
"POWER OF LOVE" BY CELINE DION..ONLY COUPLES COULD SKATE TO THIS.
The annoying Giga Pets & Furbies.
Running through the sprinklers.
That "Little Mermaid"
Crying when Mufasa died in the Lion King.
Happy Meals where you chose a Barbie or a Hot Wheels car.
Getting the privelage to sit in the front seat of the car.
Drinking Sqeeze It "Squeeze The Fun Out Of It"
CAPRI SUN
Watching Saturday Morning Cartoons in your PJ's still wrapped up in your TMNT, Power Rangers, Barbie, Fairy Princess comforter.
The original Power Rangers
Or what about:
Hey Arnold.
Rugrats.
The Secret World of Alex Mac.
Ren & Stimpy.
Double Dare.
Rocco's Modern Life.
AAAHH!! REAL MONSTERS.
Wild & Crazy Kids.
Clarissa Explains it All.
CAMP NOWHERE
Salute Your Shorts(CAMP ANAWANA)
Are You Afraid of the Dark?
The original cast members of All That.
Kenan & Kel.
"CITY GUYS"...ROLLW/ THE CITY GUYS
Doug.
Magic School Bus.
Nick Arcade.
Flash Forward.
The Adventures of Pete and Pete.
Legends of the Hidden Temple
Hey Dude.
Dinosaurs.
Alladin.
Mummies Alive
Pinky and the Brain
Sailor Moon.
Blossom.
Hangin with Mr. Cooper.
Martin
Beavis & Butt-Head
Wishbone.
Bill Nye the Science Guy
MR RODGERS!!!!
Who could forget Snick? & Nick @ Nite with Bewitched, I Dream of Jenie, The Facts of Life, I Love Lucy and TGIF.
Where everyone wanted to be in love after watching The Wonder Years.
or Nick Jr. with Face
Gulah Gulah Island
Little Bear
Busy Town
Under the Umbrella Tree
PEE-WEE!!!
The Big Comfy Couch
Kool-Aid was the drink of choice.
Wearing your new shoes on the first day of school.
Class field trips.
When Christmas was the most exciting time of year.
When $5 seemed like a million, & another dollar a miracle.
When you begged to go to McDonalds for dinner everyday.
When Toys R Us overuled the mall.

Go back to the time when:
Decisions were made by going 'eeny-meeny-miney-moe'.
Mistakes were corrected by simply exclaiming 'do over!'
'Race issue' ment arguing about who ran the fastest.
Money issues were handled by whoever was banker in 'Monopoly.'
It wasn't odd to have two or three 'best' friends.
Being old referred to anyone over 20.
A chance to skate as a couple at the local roller rink was like winning the lottery.
Scrapes & bruises were kissed & made better.
It was a big deal to finally be tall enought to ride the 'big people' rides at the fair.
When playing Nintendo was the hardest thing ever.
When Ninja Turtles ruled the world.
Another Baby Sitter Club and Little Sister (Karen) book came out and you put your name on hold for it at the library.
When Aladdin was new, before the trilogy was complete.
Sockem Boppers
Before we realized all this would eventually disappear
Who would have thought you'd miss the 90's so much!!!!!

Things You Don’t Want to Hear During Surgery

- Oops!
- Has anyone seen my watch?
- That was some party last night I can’t remember when I’ve been that drunk.
- Damn! Page 47 of the manual is missing!
- OK, now take a picture from this angle. This is truly a freak of nature.
- Better save that. We’ll need it for the autopsy.
- Come back with that! Bad Dog!
- Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what’s that?
- Hand me that...uh...that uh.....thingie
- If I can just remember how they did this on ER last week.
- Hey, has anyone ever survived 500ml of this stuff before?
- Damn, there go the lights again...
- Ya know, there’s big money in kidneys. Hell, the guy’s got two of ’em.
- Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens!
- Could you stop that thing from beating; it’s throwing my concentration off.
- I wish I hadn’t forgotten my glasses.
- Well folks, this will be an experiment for all of us.
- Steril, shcmeril. The floor’s clean, right?
- What do you mean he wasn’t in for a sex change!
- This patient has already had some kids, am I correct?
- Nurse, did this patient sign the organ donation card?
- What do you mean "You want a divorce"!
- I don’t know what it is, but hurry up and pack it in ice.
- Let’s hurry, I don’t want to miss "BayWatch"
- That laughing gas stuff is pretty cool. Can I have some more of that?
- Of course I’ve performed this operation before, Nurse!

The Perfect Day

THE PERFECT DAY - FOR HER
8:15 Wake up to hugs and kisses
8:30 Weigh in 2kg lighter than yesterday
8:45 Breakfast in bed - Freshly squeezed orange juice and croissants;
open presents - expensive jewellery chosen by thoughtful partner
9:15 Soothing hot bath with frangipani bath oil
10:00 Light workout at club with handsome, funny personal trainer
10:30 Facial, manicure, shampoo condition, blow dry
12:00 Lunch with best friend at fashionable outdoor cafe
12:45 Catch sight of boyfriend´s ex and notices she has gained 7kg
13:00 Shopping with friends, unlimited credit
15:00 Nap
16:00 3 dozen roses delivered by florist - card is from secret admirer
16:15 Light work out at club, followed by massage from strong but gentle hunk who says he rarely gets to work on such a perfect body
17:30 Choose outfit from expensive designer wardrobe, parade before full length mirror
19:30 Candle lit dinner for two followed by dancing, with compliments received from other diners/dancers
22:00 Hot shower [alone]
22:50 Carried to bed...[Freshly ironed, crisp, new, white linen]
23:00 Pillow talk, light touching and cuddling
23:15 Fall asleep in his big strong arms

and

THE PERFECT DAY - FOR HIM
6:00 Alarm
6:15 Blow job
6:30 Massive satisfying dump while reading the sports section
7:00 Breakfast - rump steak and eggs, coffee and toast, all cooked by naked buxom wench
7:30 Limo arrives
7:45 Several Whiskeys en-route to airport
9:15 Flight in personal Lear Jet
9:30 Limo to Riverside Oaks Golf Club [Blow job en-route]
9:45 Play front nine [2 under]
11:45 Lunch - Pie, chips and gravy, 3 lagers and a bottle of Dom Perignon
12:15 Blow job
12:30 Play back nine [4 under]
14:15 Limo back to airport
14:30 Fly to Monte Carlo
15:30 Late afternoon fishing excursion with all female crew [all nude]
16:30 Land world record Marlin [1234lbs] on light tackle
17:00 Fly home - massage and hand job by naked Elle McPherson
18:45 Shit, shower, shave
19:00 Watch news - Brad Pitt assassinated; marajuana and porn legalised
19:30 Dinner - Lobster appetisers, Dom Perignon, big juicy fillet steak followed by Ice cream served on a pair of tits
21:00 Napoleon Brandy and Cohuna cigar in front of wall size TV as you watch Match of the Day
21:30 Sex with three women [all with lesbian tendencies]
23:00 Massage and Jacuzzi with tasty pizza snacks and cleansing ale
23:30 Night cap blow job
23:45 In bed alone
23:50 A 12 second fart which changes note 4 times and forces the dog to leave the room

Cars v/s Computers

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX),
Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated:"If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating (by Mr. Welch himself):
"If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:
1) For no reason whatsoever your car would crash twice a day.
2) Every time they painted new lines on the road you would have to buy a new car.
3) Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you would just accept this, restart and drive on.
4) Occasionally, executing a manoeuvre such as a left turn, would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
5) Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought "Car95" or "CarNT". But then you would have to buy more seats.
6) Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, reliable, five times as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but would only run on five percent of the roads.
7) The oil, water temperature and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single "general car default" warning light.
8) New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.
9) The airbag system would say "Are you sure?" before going off.
10) Occasionally for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key, and grab hold of the radio antenna.
11) GM would also require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they neither need them nor want them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the car's performance to diminish by 50% or more. Moreover, GM would become a target for investigation by the Justice Department.
12) Every time GM introduced a new model car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
13) You'd press the "start" button to shut off the engine.

I like your Thinking

A teacher asks her class,
"If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?"

She calls on little Johnny.
He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gun shot."

The teacher replies "The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking."

Then little Johnny says "I have a question for YOU.

There are three women sitting on a bench having ice cream:
One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream.
The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone.
The third is biting off the top of the ice cream.
Which one is married?"

The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied
"Well, I suppose the one that’s gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."

To which Little Johnny replied,
"The correct answer is ’the one with the wedding ring on, but I like your thinking."

The Rules

1. For those of you who don’t already know, these are the rules that are in effect in every relationship.
2. The female always makes the rules.
3. These rules are subject to change at any time without prior notification.
4. No male can possibly know all the rules.
5. If the female suspects that the male knows all the rules, she must immediately change some or all of the rules.
6. The female is never wrong.
7. If the female is wrong it is because of a vagrant misunderstanding which was a direct result of something the male said or did wrong.
8. If rule number seven applies, the male must immediately apologize for causing the misunderstanding.
9. The female can change her mind at any given point in time.
10. The male must never change his mind without express written consent of the female.
11. The female has every right to be angry or upset at any time.
12. The male must remain calm at all times, unless the female wants him to be angry or upset.
13. The female must under no circumstances let the male know whether she wants him to be calm, angry or upset.
14. Any attempt to document these rules could result in bodily harm.
15. The female always gets the last word!

Deaths in a Hospital

Mysterious happenings at Somerset Hospital
There was a case in Somerset Hospital's ICU, where patients always died in the same bed, every Sunday morning at 11am - regardless of their medical condition. This puzzled the doctors and some even thought that particular bed was the work of the Devil...as to why the deaths at 11am on Sunday mornings?A world-wide team of experts were constituted and they decided to go down to the ward to investigate the cause of the incidents. So on the next Sunday morning, a few minutes before 11, all doctors and nurses nervously waited outside the ward to see for themselves what the terrible phenomenon was all about. Some were holding wooden crosses, prayer books and other holy objects to ward off any evil spirits...Just then the clock struck 11 and.............In walked Sipho (the part-time Sunday cleaner). He entered the ward and unplugged the life support system so that he could use the vacuum cleaner!

Text Messages Hazard

Be careful how you list names on your cell phone This lady has changed her habit of how she lists her names on her mobile phone after her handbag was stolen. Her handbag which contained her mobile, Credit card, purse...etc.... was stolen. 20 minutes later when she called Her Hubby, from a pay phone telling him what had happened, hubby says 'I've Just received your text asking about our Pin number and I've replied a little while ago. When they rushed down to the bank, the bank staff told them all the money was already withdrawn. The pickpocket had actually used the stolen hand phone to text 'hubby' in the contact list and got hold of the pin number. Within 20 minutes he had withdrawn all the money from the bank account. Moral of the lesson: Do not disclose the relationship between you and the people in your contact list. Avoid using names like Home, Honey, Hubby, sweetheart, Dad, Mum etc....... And very importantly, when sensitive info is being asked thru texts, CONFIRM by calling back. Also, when you're being text by friends or family to meet them somewhere, be sure to call back to confirm that the message came from them. If you don't reach them, be very careful about going places to meet 'family and friends' who text you. PLEASE PASS THIS ON.

Wedding Ring

Why should the wedding ring be worn on the fourth finger?
There is a beautiful and convincing explanation given by theChinese Legend...
Thumb represents your Parents Second (Index) finger represents your Siblings Middle finger represents your-Self Fourth (Ring) finger represents your Life Partner & the Last (Little) finger represents your children
Firstly, open your palms (face to face), bend the middlefingers and hold them together - back to back Secondly, open and hold the remaining three fingers and thethumb - tip to tip (As shown in the figure below):
Now, try to separate your thumbs (representing the parents)...,they will open, because your parents are not destined to live with youlifelong, and have to leave you sooner or later. Please join your thumbs as before and separate your Indexfingers (representing siblings)... ., they will also open, because yourbrothers and sisters will have their own families and will have to leadtheir own separate lives.
Now join the Index fingers and separate your Little fingers(representing your children)... ., they will open too, because thechildren also will get married and settle down on their own some day.
Finally, join your Little fingers, and try to separate yourRing fingers (representing your spouse). You will be surprised to see that you just CANNOT....., becauseHusband & Wife have to remain together all their lives - through thickand thin!!
Please try this out......... .... ISN'T THIS A LOVELY THEORY?

Accident Report

This one needs an introduction, so you won't be lost at the beginning. This man was in an accident at work, so he filled out an insurance claim. The insurance company contacted him and asked for more information. This was his response:
"I am writing in response to your request for additional information, for block number 3 of the accident reporting form. I put 'poor planning' as the cause of my accident. You said in your letter that I should explain more fully and I trust the following detail will be sufficient. I am an amateur radio operator and on the day of the accident, I was working alone on the top section of my new 80-foot tower. When I had completed my work, I discovered that I had, over the course of several trips up the tower, brought up about 300 pounds of tools and spare hardware. Rather than carry the now unneeded tools and material down by hand, I decided to lower the items down in a small barrel by using the pulley attached to the gin pole at the top of the tower. Securing the rope at ground level, I went to the top of the tower and loaded the tools and material into the barrel. Then I went back to the ground and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow decent of the 300 pounds of tools."
"You will note in block number 11 of the accident reporting form that I weigh only 155 pounds. Due to my surprise of being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rather rapid rate of speed up the side of the tower. In the vicinity of the 40-foot level, I met the barrel coming down. This explains my fractured skull and broken collarbone. Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley. Fortunately, by this time, I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold onto the rope in spite of my pain. At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of tools hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel."
"Devoid of the weight of the tools, the barrel now weighed approximately 20 pounds. I refer you again to my weight in block number 11. As you might imagine, I began a rapid descent down the side of the tower. In the vicinity of the 40-foot level, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, and the lacerations of my legs and lower body. The encounter with the barrel slowed me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell onto the pile of tools and, fortunately, only three vertebrae were cracked. I am sorry to report, however, that as I lay there on the tools, in pain, unable to stand and watching the empty barrel 80 feet above me, I again lost my presence of mind. I let go of the rope..."

Mouse Problems

Secretary: "Pastor, we’ve got a problem in the computer lab where you met with the confirmation class last week. Some of the boys in the class started messing with the mouse."

Pastor: "What?!?" (thinking: we’ve got mice in there!?)

Secretary: "Yeah, it seems some of the boys removed their balls."

Pastor (incredulously...): "Th..th...they did what??? How in the world did they do that???"

Secretary: "They must have used a screwdriver or something."

Pastor: "We’ve got some pretty sick boys... I... I... didn’t even realize mice had balls...!"

Secretary: "Yeah, they roll around on ’em all the time!"Pastor: "

What???" (still thinking of the little fury real animals) "Well...what can we do?"

Secretary: "I guess we’ll have to put ’em back on..."

Pastor: "WHAT?!?"

Secretary: "Hmmm....Pastor, are we talking about the same thing.....?!"

Your Personality Test

(1)
Put the following 5 animals in the order of your preference:
Cow, Tiger, Sheep, Horse, Pig

(2)
Write one word that describes each one of the following:
Dog, Cat, Rat, Coffee, Sea.

(3)
Think of someone, who also knows you and is important to you, which you can relate them to the following colors.
Do not repeat your answer twice.
Name just one person for each color:
Yellow,
Orange,
Red,
White,
Green.

FINISHED?
Please be sure that your answers are what you REALLY WANT.
Look at the interpretations below:

ANSWERS:
(1)
This will define your priorities in your life.
Cow Signifies CAREER
Tiger Signifies PRIDE
Sheep Signifies LOVE
Horse Signifies FAMILY
Pig Signifies MONEY

(2)
Your description of dog implies your own personality.
Your description of cat implies the personality of your partner.
Your description of rat implies the personality of your enemies.
Your description of coffee is how you interpret sex.
Your description of the sea implies your own life.

(3)
Yellow: Someone you will never forget
Orange: Someone you consider your true friend
Red: Someone that you really love
White: Your twin soul
Green: Someone that you will remember for the rest of your life

The Boss and his Employer

A boss wondered why one of his most valued employees had not phoned in sick one day.
Having an urgent problem with one of the main computers, he dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whisper.
"Hello?"
"Is your daddy home?" he asked.
"Yes," whispered the small voice.
May I talk with him?"
The child whispered, "No."
Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your Mummy there?"
"Yes."
"May I talk with her?"
Again the small voice whispered, "No."
Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked, "Is anybody else there?"
"Yes," whispered the child, "a policeman."
Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, "May I speak with the policeman?"
"No, he's busy", whispered the child.
"Busy doing what?"
"Talking to Mummy and Daddy and the Fireman," came the whispered answer.
Growing more worried as he heard what sounded like a helicopter through the earpiece on the phone, the boss asked, "What is that noise?"
"A hello-copper" answered the whispering voice.
"What is going on there?" demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive.
Again, whispering, the child answered, "The search team just landed the hello-copper."
Alarmed, concerned and a little frustrated the boss asked, "What are they searching for?"
Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle: "ME"

The Wasy to do Business

Father : I want you to marry a girl of my choice
Son : "I will choose my own bride!"
Father: "But the girl is Bill Gates's daughter."
Son : "Well, in that case...ok"

Next Father approaches Bill Gates.
Father: "I have a husband for your daughter."
Bill Gates: "But my daughter is too young to marry!"
Father: "But this young man is a vice-president of the World Bank."
Bill Gates: "Ah, in that case...ok"

Finally Father goes to see the president of the World Bank.
Father: "I have a young man to be recommended as a vice-president."
President: "But I already have more vice- presidents than I need!"
Father: "But this young man is Bill Gates's son-in-law."
President: "Ah, in that case...ok"

This is how business is done!!

Logic

------------------------------
P.S. not based on actual events
-----------------------------------
Once upon a time, Mr. Kent realized that he did not know that meaning of logic. So Mr. Kent went to Mr. Wayne and begged his to teach what logic is. Mr. Wayne being an
illustrative fellow begins:
W: "ok... do you have a fishtank in your house?"
K: "yes.. yes I do"
W: "Ok, if you have a fishtank, you must have some fish in it.."
K: "yes... 3 in fact"
W: "see... that is logic... Now that you have fish in the tank, you must have water in it too.."
K: "yes.."
W: "See, that is logic... now if you have fish in the fishtank, you must feed them regularly right?"
K: "Right..."
W: "See... that is logic... if you feed it, so must your family"
K: "yeah... my wife feeds it to"
W: "See that is logic... now, as you are married, that means you aren't homosexual"
K: (long pause) "Yes... you are a genius, I know what logic is!!"
So Mr. Kent, glowing in the brilliance of his new found knowledge, prances around the dormroom proudly like a plump piglet. Mr. Sparrow inquires, "Mr. Kent, why are you
so happy today?" Mr. Kent replies, "Mr. Sparrow, I have learnt what logic is!" Mr. Sparrow, being the illogical fellow he is, says, "wow, Mr. Kent, teach me the meaning of
logic too!!" Mr. Kent begins..
K: "Ok Mr. Sparrow... Do you or do you not have a fish bowl at your home?"
S: "Err.... no... I don't have a fishtank at home...."
Mr. Kent then runs at top speed shouting "Hey everyone!! Mr. Sparrow is GAY!!!"

An Animal Thingy

Check your B' day & check Who are you?

January 01-09--Dog
January 10-24--Mouse
January 25-31--Lion

February 01-05--Cat
February 06-14--Dove
February 15-21--Turtle
February 22-28--Panther

March 01-12--Monkey
March 13-15--Lion
March 16-23--Mouse
March 24-31--Cat

April 01-03--Dog
April 04-14--Panther
April 15-26--Mouse
April 27-30--Turtle

May 01-13--Monkey
May 14-21--Dove
May 22-31--Lion

June 01-03--Mouse
June 04-14--Turtle
June 15-20--Dog
June 21-24--Monkey
June 25-30--Cat

July 01-09--Mouse
July 10-15--Dog
July 16-26--Dove
July 27-31--Cat

August 01-15--Monkey
August 16-25--Mouse
August 26-31--Turtle

September 01-14--Dove
September 15-27--Cat
September 28-30Dog

October 01-15--Monkey
October 16-27--Turtle
October 28-31--Panther
I Am Panther CoolSunny

November 01-16--Lion
November 17-30--Cat

December
01-16--Dog
December 17-25--Monkey
December 26-31--Dove

Now Scroll Down



If you are a Dog:
A very loyal and sweet person. Your loyalty can neverbe doubted. You are quite honest and sincere when itcomes to your attitude towards working. You are a verysimple person, indeed. Absolutely hassle free, humbleand down-to-earth!! That explains the Reason. Why yourfriends cling on to you! You have a good taste forclothes. If your wardrobe is not updated with what istrendy, you sure are depressed. Popular andeasy-going. You have a little group of dignifiedfriends, all of them being quality-personified.
If you are a Mouse :
Always up to some sort of a mischief! The mischievousgleam in your eyes is what makes you so cute andattractive to everyone. You are an extremelyfun-to-be-with kind of person. No wonder, people seekfor your company and look forward to include you forall get-togethers. However, you are sensitive, whichis a drawback. People need to select their words whiletalking to you. If someone tries to fiddle around andplay with words while dealing with you, it is enoughto invite your wrath. God bless the person then!
If you are a Lion :
Quite contradictory to your name, you are a peaceloving person. You best try to avoid a situationwherein you are required to fight. An outdoor person,you dislike sitting at one place for a long duration.You are a born leader, and have it in you how totactfully derive work from people. You love beingloved, and when you receive your share of limelightfrom someone, you are all his or hers!!!! Well,Well... Hence some people could even take anadvantage, flatter you to the maximum and get theirwork done. So be careful.....
If you are a Cat :
An extremely lovable, adorable person, sometimes shy,with a passion for quick wit. At times, you preferquietness. You love exploring various things and goinginto depth of each thing. Under normal circumstancesyou're cool, when given a reason to, you are like aVolcano waiting to erupt. You're a fashion bird.People look forward to you as an icon associated withfashion. Basically, you mingle along freely but don'tlike talking much to strangers. Peoplefeel very easy in your company. You observe care inchoosing your friends.
If you are a Turtle : Shampy
You are near to perfect and nice at heart. Theexamples of your kindness are always circulated ingroups of people. You, too, love peace. You wouldn'tlike to retaliate even to a person who is in thewrong. You are loved due to this. You do not wish totalk behind one's back. People love the way you alwaystreat them. You can give, give and give love, and thebest part is that you do not expect it back in return.You are generous enough. Seeing things in a practicallight is what remains the best trait of you guys.
If you are a Dove :
You symbolize a very happy-go-lucky approach in life.Whatever the surroundings may be, grim or cheerful,you remaining unaffected. In fact, you spread cheerwherever you go. You are the leader of your group offriends and good at consoling people in their times ofneed. You dislike hypocrisy and tend to shirk awayfrom hypocrites. They can never be in your good books,no matter what. You are very methodical and organizedin your work. No amount of mess, hence, can everencompass you. Beware, it is easy for you to fall inlove....
If you are a Panther :
You are mysterious. You are someone who can handlepressure with ease, and can handle any atmospherewithout going berserk. You can be mean at times, andlove to gossip with your selected group. Very prim andproper. You like all situations and things to be inthe way you desire, which sometimes is not possible.As a result, you may lose out in some relationships.But otherwise, you love to help people out fromdifficult and tight spots when they really need you.
If you are a Monkey :
Very impatient and hyper!!! You want things to be doneas quickly as possible. At heart, you are quite simpleand love if you are the centre of attraction. Thatway, you people are unique. You would like to keepyourself safe from all the angles. Shall your name bedragged or featured in any sort of a controversy, youthen go all panicky. Therefore, you take yourprecautions from the very beginning. When you foreseeanything wrong, your sixth sense is what saves youfrom falling in traps. Quite a money minded bunch youpeople are!

The 12 Signs of Falling in Love

12. You read their texts/notes over and over again...
11. You walk really slow when you're with them...
10. You feel shy whenever you're with them...
9. When you think about them, your heart beats faster
8. You smile when you hear their voice...
7. When you look at them, you can't see the other people around you... all you see is them...
6. You start listening to slow songs, while thinking of them...
5. They become all you think about...
4. You get high just from their scent...
3. You realize that you're always smiling to yourself when you think about them...
2. You would do anything for them...
1. While reading this, there was one person on your mind the whole time.....

50 Romantic things to do 4 your Boy/Girl Friend

50 Watch the sunset together.
49 Whisper to each other.
48 Cook for each other.
47 Walk in the rain.
46 Hold hands
45 Buy gifts for each other.
44 Roses.
43 Find out their favorite cologne/perfume and wear it every time you're together.
42 Go for a long walk down the beach at midnight.
41 Write poetry for each other.
40 Hugs are the universal medicine.
39 Say I love you, only when you mean it and make sure they know you mean it.
38 Give random gifts of flowers/candy/poetry etc.
37 Tell her that she's the only girl you ever want. Don't lie!
36 Spend every second possible together.
35 Look into each other's eyes.
34 Very lightly push up her chin, look into her eyes, tell her you love her, and kiss her lightly.
33 When in public, only flirt with each other.
32 Put love notes in their pockets when they aren't looking.
31 Buy her a ring.
30 Sing to each other.
29 Always hold her around her hips/sides.
28 Take her to dinner and do the dinner for two deal.
27 Spaghetti? (Ever see Lady and the Tramp?)
26 Hold her hand, stare into her eyes, kiss her hand and then put it over your heart.
25 Dance together.
24 I love the way a girl looks right after she's fallen asleep with her head in my lap.
23 Do cute things like write I love you in a note so that they have to look in a mirror to read it.
22 Make excuses to call them every 5 minutes
21 Even if you are really busy doing something, go out of your way to call and say I love you.
20 Call from your vacation spot to tell them you were thinking about them.
19 Remember your dreams and tell her about them.
18 Tell each other your most sacred secrets/fears.
17 Be Prince Charming to her parents.
16 Brush her hair out of her face for her.
15 Hang out with his/her friends.
14 Go to church/pray/worship together.
13 Take her to see a romantic movie and remember the parts she liked.
12 Learn from each other and don't make the same mistake twice.
11 Describe the joy you feel just to be with him/her.
10 Make sacrifices for each other.
9 Really love each other, or don't stay together.
8 Let there never be a second during any given day that you aren't thinking about them,
7 and make sure they know it.
6 Love yourself before you love anyone else.
5 Learn to say sweet things in foreign languages.
4 Dedicate songs to them on the radio.
3 Fall asleep on the phone with each other.
2 Stand up for them when someone talks trash.
1 Never forget the kiss goodnight and always remember to say, "Sweet dreams."

What can Break

Stone is Enough to Break a Glass……
One Sentence is Enough to Break a Heart……
One Second is Enough to Fall in Love……
and One Misunderstanding is Sufficient to Break Friendship.

Friendship is the Rainbow Between two Hearts.
Sharing 7 Characters
First i like u,
then i loved u,
Now i'm afraid to lose u,

Learn Chinese in 5 Minutes

[English phrase] -- [Chinese Interpretation]
Are you harboring a fugitive? -- Hu Yu Hai Ding?
See me A.S.A.P. -- Kum Hia Nao
Stupid Man -- Dum Gai
Small Horse -- Tai Ni Po Ni
Did you go to the beach? -- Wai Yu So Tan?
I bumped into a coffee table. -- Ai Bang Mai Ni
I think you need a facelift. -- Chin Tu Fat
It's very dark in here. -- Wai So Dim?
Has your flight been delayed? -- Hao Long Wei Ting?
That was an unauthorized execution. -- Lin Ching
I thought you were on a diet. -- Wai Yu Mun Ching?
This is a tow away zone. -- No Pah King
Do you know the lyrics to the Macarena? -- Wai Yu Sing Dum Song?
You are not very bright. -- Yu So Dum
I got this for free. -- Ai No Pei
I am not guilty. -- Wai Hang Mi?
Please, stay a while longer. -- Wai Go Nao?
Our meeting was scheduled for next week. -- Wai Yu Kum Nao
They have arrived. -- Hia Dei Kum
Stay out of sight. -- Lei Lo
He's cleaning his automobile. -- Wa Shing Ka
Your body odor is offensive. -- Yu stin ki pu

Chinese Good Luck Tantra Totem

THE FOLLOWING IS A CHINESE GOOD LUCK TANTRA TOTEM.

You may not believe in this but the advice is great! Read all the way down, you might learn something!!!

ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.
THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.
FOUR. When you say, "I love you", mean it.
FIVE. When you say, "I'm sorry", look the person in the eye.
SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.
SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight.
EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dreams. People who don't have dreams don't have much.
NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.
TEN. In disagreements, fight fairly. Please No name calling.
ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their relatives.
TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly.
THIRTEEN. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?"
FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
FIFTEEN. Say "bless you" when you hear someone sneeze.
SIXTEEN. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.
SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; Responsibility for all your actions.
EIGHTEEN. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
NINETEEN. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.
TWENTY ONE. Spend some time alone.

Family

I ran into a stranger as he passed by,
"Oh excuse me please" was my reply.
He said, "Please excuse me too; I wasn't watching for you."
We were very polite, this stranger and I. We went on our way and we said goodbye.
But at home a different story is told, How we treat our loved ones, young and old.
Later that day, cooking the evening meal, My son stood beside me very still.
When I turned, I nearly knocked him down. "Move out of the way," I said with a frown.
He walked away, his little heart broken. I didn't realize how harshly I'd spoken.
While I lay awake in bed, God's still small voice came to me and said,
"While dealing with a stranger, common courtesy you use, but the family you love, you seem to abuse.
Go and look on the kitchen floor, You'll find some flowers there by the door.
Those are the flowers he brought for you. He picked them himself: pink, yellow and blue.
He stood very quietly not to spoil the surprise, you never saw the tears that filled his little eyes."
By this time, I felt very small, And now my tears began to fall.
I quietly went and knelt by his bed; "Wake up, little one, wake up," I said.
"Are these the flowers you picked for me?" He smiled, "I found 'em, out by the tree.
I picked 'em because they're pretty like you. I knew you'd like 'em, especially the blue."
I said, "Son, I'm very sorry for the way I acted today; I shouldn't have yelled at you that way." He said, "Oh, Mom, that's okay. I love you anyway."
I said, "Son, I love you too, and I do like the flowers, especially the blue."
FAMILY Are you aware that if we died tomorrow, the company that we are working for could easily replace us in a matter of days. But the family we left behind will feel the loss for the rest of their lives.
And come to think of it, we pour ourselves more into work than into our own family, an unwise investment indeed, don't you think? So what is behind the story?

Do you know what the word FAMILY means? FAMILY = (F)ATHER (A)ND (M)OTHER (I) (L)OVE (Y)OU

Friends Forever

You might be best friends one year...
pretty good friends the next year...
don't talk that often the next year...
and don't want to talk at all the year after that...
So, I just wanted to say,
even if I never talk to you again in my life,
you are special to me and you have made a difference in my life,
I look up to you,
respect you,
and truly cherish you.

Remember, everyone needs a friend, someday you might feel like you have NO FRIENDS at all, just remember this and take comfort in knowing somebody out there cares about you and always will

Kings Earnings

Dear Nepali citizens and foreign lovers of Nepal,
you might be wondering why Nepal is still poor when its countries of equal economic status has reached the sky with booming economic development. Let's know the reason behind this, recently found.
Nepal is one of the poorest counries of the world but Nepal’s king is the highest paid king of the world.
The income of Nepali king Gyanendra Bir Bikram Shah Dev is:
2,426 times higher than that of Chinese president
318 times higher than that of Indian president
301 times higher than that of Pakistani president
173 times higher than that of Russian president
57 times higher than that of French president
15 times higher than that of British president
10 times higher than that of American president
Netherlands queen’s income : Rs. 22,32,00,000 (per capita income Rs 17,25,120 )
American president earns: Rs. 3,24,00,000 (1,15,20,000 returns in tax), (per capita income Rs 25,24,320)
Japanese king earns Rs. 22,23,52,000 (per capita income Rs.24,15,600)
Chinese president earns Rs. 1,35,000 (per capita income Rs 67,680)
Indian president earns Rs. 10,11,000 (per capita income Rs 34,560)
French president earns Rs 57,96,000 (per capita income Rs 15,84,000)
Pakistani president earns (after the coup) Rs 10,94,000 (per capita income 29,520)
British Queen does not get any salary from the state. She has a property of Rs 30,24,00,00,000

(the profit of investment, after paying the tax, is hers) but even her neckless is the property of thecountry.

British president earns Rs 2,19,58,000 (per capita income is Rs 18,16,200)
Russian president earns Rs 19,03,000 (per capita income is Rs 1,54,000)
Belgean king receives salary as a civil servant (per capita income is Rs 16,74,000)

And,Nepali king earns Rs 61,91,00,000 (per capita income is Rs 16,560=US$ 230)

[This means the Nepali king earns Rs. 19,878 times higher than a citizen. Last year it was 37,385 times higher. Thus a citizen can earn as much as the king earns in a year only after working for 19,000years or in 316 lives. Ho la!]

AppendixNepali royal family is involved in various business.A king does not have to pay tax according to Nepal’s constitution.The present king has inherited the property of earlier king’s family and nobody knows how much it is.This king has taken Rs 1,06,45,00,000 in past three years for his small family

Courtsey: Surya Thapa, Mulyankan Monthly (Nov-Dec 2005)US dollar 1 = Rs 72Nepal has a writing system of giving comma after two digits except the last.

REQUESTPEASE PRINT THIS AND PASTE IT ON THE NOTICE BOARD OF YOUR OFFICE. THIS WILL GIVE ANSWER TO THE QUEST WHY NEPAL IS ALWAYS SO POOR.
OR
PLEASE CIRCULATE THIS PAGE TO YOUR FRIEND – YOU WILL NOT GET ANY FORTUNE BUT WILL CERTAINLY OPEN THEIR EYES.

Thanks,Nepali Janata

EOTI

Visit This LINK

http://www.shibumi.org/eoti.htm

IT GOOD ISN"T IT?

Male Bashing

Time for some male bashing...... (For a change)...

Q: What is the difference between men and puppies?
A: Puppies grow up.

Q: Why do men always have a stupid look on their faces?
A: Because they are...

Q: What do men have in common with ceramic tiles?
A: Fix them properly once and you can walk all over them forever.

Q: If you drop a man and a brick out of a plane, which one would hit the ground first?
A: Who cares?????.....

Q: What did God say after he created man?
A: I can do better than this! And then he created woman!!!.

Q: What's the difference between an intelligent man & a UFO ?
A: I don't know, I've never seen either.

Q: What are two reasons why men don't mind their own business?
A: i) no mind ii) no business

Q: Why did Moses wander in the desert for 40 years?
A: Because even back then men wouldn't ask for directions .

Q: What is the difference between men and pigs?
A: Pigs don't turn into men when they drink...

Q: What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
A: The same urge that makes dogs chase vehicles they have no intention of driving.

Q: What do you do with a man who thinks he's God's gift?
A: Exchange him!!

Q: Why do men like smart women?
A: Opposites attract.

Recommend this link to some women who need a laugh.. and to men who can handle it! Walk on..

Maoists and The King

Untill few months back, there used to be a stalemate between the King and the Maoists.
The Maoists have taken over many places in Nepal, but their revolution is not successful until they take over the capital.
They could not possibly take over the capital because of the Army. The Army is under the kings control and it is impossible for the Maoists to fight the Kings Army in the capital.
SCENE IN THE CAPITAL: The democratic parties have a lot of supporters and say in the capital BUT they are not strong enough to overthrow the King.
THE MAOIST STRATEGY: Using the Democratic Parties as a pawn in their greater scheme of things, the Maoist incite the Democratic Parties to call strikes and large processions, whereby they infiltrate the crowds and force the Kings govt. to attack the public.
THE GENERAL CONSENSUS: The general public believes that the King is corrupt and not a good ruler. So they only need some inciting before they go out in the streets. Once the general consensus is now to get rid of the King who has unjustly killed off peaceful demonstrators and innocent people.
THE AFTERMATH: The wrath of the crowd in Kathmandu Valley is enough to overthrow the king. The king gets thrown out/killed. The Democratic Parties celebrate for a short time before they start feeling the pressure of the Maoists from all sides of the capital.
Without the Army being controlled by one point of reference, no one can stop the Maoists from taking control of the capital.
THE STRATEGY IS WORKING: What we need to decide right now is do we want the Maoist to rule us or the King? The democratic party are just wishful thinkers who wish for a utopia but will fail miserably as soon as their fight is over.
WE THE COMMONERS: We need to see beyond the current situation in Nepal and decide for ourselves if Maoists Rule is what we want. If that is the case, we need to go ahead and support the Democratic Party in the street to topple the King. As soon as the King is toppled, these Democratic Parties will be swatted off like flies by the Maoist guns.
Although democracy is something to die for, the consequent Maoist rule would be such an unfortunate irony for the deaths of thousands who are seeking democracy.

Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus

Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus, I’m from just down the road

Here’s a prime example of “Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus”offered by an English professor from the University of Phoenix:
The professor told his class one day: “Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. As homework tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that paragraph and send another copy to me. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another paragraph to the story and send it back, also sending another copy to me. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back-and-forth. Remember to re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be absolutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and anything you wish to say must be written in the e-mail. The story is over when both agree a conclusion has been reached.”
The following was actually turned in by two of his English students:
Rebecca and Gary.
THE STORY:(first paragraph by Rebecca)
At first, Laurie couldn’t decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the question.
(second paragraph by Gary)
Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. ” A.S. Harris to Geostation 17,” he said into his transgalactic communicator. “Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far…” But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship’s cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.
(Rebecca)
He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. “Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel,” Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspaper to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. “Why must one lose one’s innocence to become a woman?” she pondered wistfully.
(Gary)
Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu’udrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dim-witted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace disarmament Treaty through the congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu’udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid Laurie.
(Rebecca)
This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic semi literate adolescent.
(Gary)
Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. “Oh, shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F–KING TEA??? Oh no, what am I to do? I’m such an air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels!”
(Rebecca)
Asshole.
(Gary)
Bitch
(Rebecca)
F__K YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL!
(Gary)
Go drink some tea - whore.
(TEACHER)
*A+ - I really liked this one.*

A Month Thingy

Months Description
Read this and tell your friends about it
They just might understand you better....
JANUARY - Stubborn. Ambitious and serious. Loves to teach and be taught.Never looks at people's flaws or weaknesses. Hardworking and productive.Smart, neat and organized. Sensitive and has deep thoughts. Knows how tomake others happy. Quiet unless excited or tense. Rather reserved.Highly attentive. Resistant to illnesses but prone to colds. Loving andloyal. Loves children. Has great social abilities. Money cautious, canbudget successfully.______________________________________________
FEBRUARY - Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligentand clever. Changing personality. Attractive. Sexy.. Temperamental.Quiet, shy and humble. Honest and loyal. Determined to reach goals.Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves aggressiveness s. Toosensitive and easily hurt. Gets angry really easily but does not showit. Dislikes unnecessary things. Loves making friends but rarely showsit. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizing dreams and hopes. Sharp.Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside.Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift. Tries to learn to showemotions.______________________________________________
MARCH - Attractive personality. Sexy. Affectionate. Shy and reserved.Secretive. Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Loves peace andserenity. Sensitive to others. Loves to serve others. Easily angered.Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness. Observant and assessesothers. Revengeful. Loves to dream and fantasize. Loves traveling. Lovesattention. Hasty decisions in choosing partners. Loves home decor.Musically talented. Loves special things. Moody.______________________________________________
APRIL - Active and dynamic. Decisive and haste but tends to regret.Attractive and affectionate to oneself. Strong mentality. Lovesattention. Diplomatic. Consoling, friendly and solves people's problems.Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and caring. Suave and generous.Emotional. Aggressive. Hasty. Good memory. Moving. Motivates oneself andothers. Sickness usually of the head and chest. Sexy in a way that onlytheir lover can see.______________________________________________
MAY - Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated.Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention.Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needsno motivation. Easily consoled Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream.Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear andneck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literatureand the arts. Loves traveling. Dislike being at home. Restless. Nothaving many children. Hardworking. High spirited. Spendthrift.______________________________________________
JUNE - Thinks far with vision. Easily influenced by kindness. Polite.Has lots of ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitates, tends to putthings off. Choosy and always wants the best. Temperamental. Funny andhumorous. Loves to joke. Good debating skills. Talkative. Daydreamer.Friendly. Makes friends easily. Shows character. Easily hurt. Prone togetting colds. Easily bored. Fussy and stubborn. Seldom shows emotions.Takes time to recover when hurt. Brand conscious.______________________________________________
JULY - Fun to be with. Secretive. Sometimes, difficult to understand.Quiet unless excited or tense. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputationfor hard work. Honest. Concerned about people's feelings. Tactful.Friendly, but not always approachable. Emotionally temperamental. Moodyand easily hurt. Witty. Not mean or revengeful. Forgiving but neverforgets. Dislikes nonsensical and illogical l things. Sensitive and formsfriendships carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strongsense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations.No difficulties in studying. Loves to be alone. Broods about the pastand misses old friends. Quiet, homey person. Has difficulty making newfriends. Prone to having dieting problems. Loves to be loved. Easilyhurt but takes long to recover.______________________________________________
AUGUST - Loves to joke. Attractive. Suave and caring. Brave andfearless. Firm and has leadership qualities. Knows how to consoleothers. Too generous and egoistic. Takes high pride of oneself. Thirstyfor praises. Extraordinary spirit. Easily angered. Angry when provoked.Easily jealous. Observant. Careful and cautious. Thinks quickly.Independent thoughts. Loves to lead and to be led. Loves to dream.Talented in the arts, music and defense. Sensitive but not petty. Poorresistance against illnesses. Learns to relax. Hasty and trusty.Romantic. Loving and caring. Loves to make friends.______________________________________________
SEPTEMBER - Suave and compromising. Careful, cautious and organized.Stubborn. Quiet. Uncomfortable if have to talk to a group. Calm.Sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal. Does work well. Veryconfident. Sensitive. Thinking generous. Good memory. Clever andknowledgeable. Loves to look for information. Must control oneself whencriticizing. Able to motivate oneself. Understanding. Secretive. Lovessports and leisure. Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings.Very choosy, especially in relationships.______________________________________________
OCTOBER - Loves to chat. Loves those who loves them. Loves to takesthings at the center. Inner and physical beauty. Sexy. Gets angry often.Treats friends importantly. Always making new friends. Easily hurt butrecovers easily. Day dreamer. Loyal. Opinionated. Does not care whatothers think. Emotional. Decisive. Strong clairvoyance. Loves to travel,the arts and literature. Touchy and easily jealous. Honest, does notpretend. Concerned. Loves outdoors. Just and fair. Spendthrift. Easilyinfluenced. Easily loses confidence. Loves children.______________________________________________
NOVEMBER - Has a lot of ideas. Difficult to fathom. Thinks forward.Unique and brilliant. Extraordinary ideas. Sharp thinking. Fine andstrong clairvoyance. Can become good doctors. Dynamic in personality.Secretive. Inquisitive. Knows how to dig secrets. Always thinking. Lesstalkative but amiable. Brave and generous. Patient. Stubborn andhard-hearted. If there is a will, there is a way. Determined. Never giveup. Hardly becomes angry unless provoked. Loves to be alone. Thinksdifferently from others. Sharp-minded. Motivates oneself. Does notappreciate praises. High-spirited. Well-built and tough. Deep love andemotions. Romantic. Uncertain in relationships. Homely. Hardworking.High abilities. Trustworthy. Honest and keeps secrets. Not able tocontrol emotions.______________________________________________
DECEMBER - Loyal and generous. Sexy. Patriotic. Active in games andinteractions. Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential inorganizations. Fun to be with. Loves to socialize. Loves praises. Lovesattention. Loves to be loved. Honest and trustworthy. Not pretending.Short-tempered. Changing personality. Not egotistic. Take high pride inoneself. Hates restrictions. Loves to joke. Good sense of humor.Logical

A Lil Mouse Story

A mouse looked through the crack in the wall to see the farmer and his wife open a package. "What food might this contain?"
The mouse wondered - he was devastated to discover it was a mousetrap. Retreating to the farmyard, the mouse proclaimed the warning. "There is a mousetrap in the house! There is a mousetrap in the house!"
The chicken clucked and scratched, raised her head and said, "Mr. Mouse, I can tell this is a grave concern to you but it is of no consequence to me. I can’t be bothered by it."
The mouse turned to the goat and told him, "There is a mousetrap in the house! There is a mousetrap in the house!" The goat sympathized, but said, "I am so very sorry, Mr. Mouse, but there is nothing I can do about it but pray. Be assured you are in my prayers."
The mouse turned to the pig and said, "There is a mousetrap in the house! There is a mousetrap in the house!" The pig said, "Wow, Mr. Mouse. I'm sorry for you, but it's no skin off my nose."
So, the mouse returned to the house, head down and dejected, to face the farmer's mousetrap - alone. That very night a sound was heard throughout the house - like the sound of a mousetrap catching its prey.
The farmer's wife rushed to see what was caught. In the darkness, she did not see it was a venomous snake whose tail the trap had caught. The snake bit the farmer's wife. The farmer rushed her to the hospital and she returned home with a fever.
Everyone knows you treat a fever with fresh chicken soup, so the farmer took his hatchet to the farmyard for the soup's main ingredient and chopped the chicken. But his wife's sickness continued, so friends and neighbours came to sit with her around the clock.
To feed them, the farmer butchered the goat. The farmer's wife did not get well; she died.
So many people came for her funeral; the farmer had the pig slaughtered to provide enough meat for all of them.
The mouse looked upon it all from his crack in the wall with great sadness.
So, the next time you hear someone is facing a problem and think it doesn't concern you, remember -- when one of us is threatened, we are all at risk.
We are all involved in this journey called life. We must keep an eye out for one another and make an extra effort to encourage one another.

REMEMBER: EACH OF US IS A VITAL THREAD IN ANOTHER PERSON'S TAPESTRY; OUR LIVES ARE WOVEN TOGETHER FOR A REASON.

Salty Coffe

An Amazing Love Story
He met her on a party. She was so outstanding, many guys chasing after her, while he so normal, nobody paid attention to him. At the end of the party, he invited her to have coffee with him, she was surprised, but due to being polite, she promised. They sat in a nice coffee shop, he was too nervous to say anything, she felt uncomfortable, she thought, "please, let me go home...." suddenly he asked the waiter. "would you please give me some salt? I'd like to put it in my coffee."
Everybody stared at him, so strange! His face turned red, but still, he put the salt in his coffee and drank it. She asked him curiously; why you have this hobby? He replied: "when I was a little boy, I was living near the sea, I like playing in the sea,I could feel the taste of the sea, just like the taste of the salty coffee. Now every time I have the salty coffee, I always think of my childhood, think of my hometown, I miss my hometown so much, I miss my parents who are still living there". While saying that tears filled his eyes. She was deeply touched. That's his true feeling, from the bottom of his heart. A man who can tell out his homesickness, he must be a man who loves home,cares about home, has responsibility of home. Then she also started to speak,spoke about her faraway hometown, her childhood, her family. That was a really nice talk, also a beautiful beginning of their story.
They continued to date. She found that actually he was a man who meets all her demands; he had tolerance, was kind hearted, warm, careful. He was such a good person but she almost missed him! Thanks to his salty coffee!
Then the story was just like every beautiful love story , the princess married to the prince, then they were living the happy life... And, every time she made coffee for him,she put some salt in the coffee e, as she knew that's the way he liked it.
After 40 years, he passed away, left her a letter which said: "My dearest, please forgive me, forgive my whole life lie. This was the only lie I said to you---the salty coffee. Remember the first time we dated? I was so nervous at that time, actually I wanted some sugar, but I said salt It was hard for me to change so I just went ahead.I never thought that could be the start of our communication! I tried to tell you the truth many times in my life, but I was too afraid to do that, as I have promised not to lie to you for anything.. Now I'm dying, I afraid of nothing so I tell you the truth: I don't like the salty coffee, what a strange bad taste...But I have had the salty coffee for my whole life! Since I knew you, I never feel sorry for anything I do for you. Having you with me is my biggest happiness for my whole life. If I can live for the second time, still want to know you and have you for my whole life,even though I have to drink the salty coffee again".
Her tears made the letter totally wet. Someday, someone asked her:what's the taste of salty coffee? It's sweet. She replied.
*Love** is not 2 forget but 2 forgive, not 2 c but 2 understand,not 2 hear but 2 listen, not 2 let go but 2 HOLD ON !!!!**Don't ever leave the one you love for the one you like, because the one you like will leave you for the one they love.Don't just search. Find.

Sweet Grandma

Grandpa and Grandma always got very excited when they recalled the old daysthey were together. They made a decision, one day to make it "yesterdayonce more". They made a date on the riverbank they used to go when theywere young.The next day, Grandpa got up 6 a.m. in the morning, dashed to the bank,picked up a big bunch of wild flowers before sunrise, waited there for hissweetheart to come. But grandpa ended in disappointment grandma nevershowed up even after sunset.Grandpa went home in such anger. He opened the door, seeing grandma lyingon the sofa with her pillow.He threw the flowers on the floor and questioned: "Why didn't you come toour date?"Grandma hid her head in the pillow and replied shyly: "Mom didn't allow me to go..."

All You Need Is Luck

Enjoy. Take time to watch the very last sentence. A two minute read.......Read this story, and follow the recommendation at the end...
As I was walking down life's highway many years ago I came upon a sign that read Heavens Grocery Store. When I got a little closer the doors swung openwide And when I came to myself I was standing inside. I saw a host of angels. They were standing everywhere One handed me a basket and said "My child shop with care."Everything a human needed was in that grocery store And what you could not carry you could come back for more
First I got some Patience. Love was in that same row. Further down was Understanding, you need that everywhere you go. I got a box or two of Wisdom and Faith a bag or two. And Charity of course I would need some of that too. I couldn't miss the Holy Ghost It was all over the place. And then some Strength and Courage to help me run this race. My basket was getting full but I remembered I needed Grace, And then I chose Salvation for Salvation was for free I tried to get enough of that to do for you and me. Then I started to the counter to pay my grocery bill, For I thought I had everything to do the Masters will. As I went up the aisle I saw Prayer and put that in, For I knew when I stepped outside I would run into sin. Peace and Joy were plentiful, the last things on the shelf. Song and Praise were hanging near so I just helped myself. Then I said to the angel "Now how much do I owe?" He smiled and said "Just take them everywhereyou go." Again I asked "Really now, How much do I owe?""My child" he said, "God paid your bill a long long time ago."
This has been sent to you with love and for goodluck.
It originated in the Netherlands and has been around the world 9 times.
Do not send money as this message has no price. Do not keep this to yourself but tell it to someone who needs good luck. Of course, good luck is just another way of saying blessings.

Things Computers Can Do In Movies

- Word processors never display a cursor.
- You never have to use the space-bar when typing long sentences.
- Movie characters never make typing mistakes.
- All monitors display inch-high letters.
- High-tech computers, such as those used by NASA, the CIA or some such governmental institution, will have easy to understand graphical interfaces.
- Those that don't have graphical interfaces will have incredibly powerful text-based command shells that can correctly understand and execute commands typed in plain English. Note: Command line interfaces will give you access to any information you want by simply typing, "ACCESS THE SECRET FILES" on any near-by keyboard.
- You can also infect a computer with a destructive virus by simply typing "UPLOAD VIRUS". (See "Fortress".)
- All computers are connected. You can access the information on the villain's desktop computer even if it's turned off.
- Powerful computers beep whenever you press a key or the screen changes. Some computers also slow down the output on the screen so that it doesn't go faster than you can read. (Really advanced computers will also emulate the sound of a dot-matrix printer.)
- All computer panels operate on thousands of volts and have explosive devices underneath their surface. Malfunctions are indicated by a bright flash of light, a puff of smoke, a shower of sparks and an explosion that causes you to jump backwards.
- People typing on a computer can safely turn it off without saving the data.
- A hacker is always able to break into the most sensitive computer in the world by guessing the secret password in two tries.
- You may bypass "PERMISSION DENIED" message by using the "OVERRIDE" function. (See "Demolition Man".)
- Computers only take 2 seconds to boot up instead of the average minutes for desktop PCs and 30 minutes or more for larger systems that can run 24 hours, 365 days a year without a reset.
- Complex calculations and loading of huge amounts of data will be accomplished in under three seconds. Movie modems usually appear to transmit data at the speed of two gigabytes per second.
- When the power plant/missile site/main computer overheats, all control panels will explode shortly before the entire building will.
- If you display a file on the screen and someone deletes the file, it also disappears from the screen (See "Clear and Present Danger").
- If a disk contains encrypted files, you are automatically asked for a password when you insert it.
- Computers can interface with any other computer regardless of the manufacturer or galaxy where it originated. (See "Independence Day".)
- Computer disks will work on any computer which has a floppy drive and all software is usable on any platforms.
- The more high-tech the equipment, the more buttons it will have (See "Aliens".) Note: You must be highly trained to operate high-tech computers because the buttons have no labels except for the "SELF-DESTRUCT" button.
- Most computers, no matter how small, have reality-defying three-dimensional active animation, photo-realistic graphics capabilities.
- Laptops always have amazing real-time video phone capabilities and performance similar to a CRAY Supercomputer.
- Whenever a character looks at a monitor, the image is so bright that it projects itself onto their face. (See "Alien" or "2001")
- Searches on the internet will always return what you are looking for no matter how vague your keywords are. (See "Mission Impossible", Tom Cruise searches with keywords like "file" and "computer" an 3 results are returned.)

Pink Dog

Read Each One Carefully and Think About It a Second or Two

1. I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you.
2. No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is, won't make you cry.
3. Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.
4. A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart.
5. The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can't have them.
6. Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile.
7. To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.
8. Don't waste your time on a man/woman, who isn't willing to waste their time on you.
9 Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be grateful.
10. Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened
11. There's always going to be people that hurt you so what you have to do is keep on trusting and just be more careful about who you trust next time around.
12. Make yourself a better person and know who you are before you try and know someone else and expect them to know you.
13. Don't try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them to.
REMEMBER: WHATEVER HAPPENS, HAPPENS FOR A REASON.
True friends: How many people actually have 8 true friends?
Hardly anyone I know ! But some of us have all right friends and good friends!!!
You have been Tagged by the Pink Dog!
,-._,-.
\/)"(\/
(_o_)

ruff!!!!!!

You will Have Good Luck For Two Years

Well u shld....hehehe

A Bunch of Proverbs

Adversity reveals genius, prosperity conceals it
A laugh is worth a hundred groans in any market
All is well that ends well
A man is not poor if he can still laugh
A man's reach should exceed his grasp or what is a heaven for
A real friend never gets in your way, unless you happen to be on the way down
Certain thoughts are prayers. There are moments when, whatever be the attitude of the body, the soul is on its knees
Co-operation is doing with a smile what you have to do anyhow
Courage is not simply one of the virtues, but the form of every virtue at the testing point
Do unto others what you would they do unto you
Flies to wanton boys are we to god; they kill us for their sport
Getting even throws everything out of balance
Heard melodies are sweet, those unheard are sweeter still
He who conquers himself is the greatest warrior
He who laughs lasts
Hope smiles on the threshold of the year to come, whispering that it will be happier
I care for nobody on earth and nobody on earth cares for me
If winter comes, can spring be far away
Infatuation, like common cold, must run its course
In my friend, I find a second self
In quarrelling, the truth is always lost
In the beginning is the end
It is better to reign in hell than be a slave in heaven
It is better to risk saving a guilty man than to condemn an innocent one
It is difficult to win a friend in a year; it is easy to lose one in an hour
Knowledge is the child of experience
Little learning is dangerous
Man's capacity for justice makes democracy possible, but man's inclination to injustice makes it necessary
Men may come and men may go; but i go on forever
Once the game is over, the king and the pawns go back to the same box
One cannot manage too many affairs; like pumpkins in water, one pops up while you try to hold the other down
One may smile and smile and yet be a villain
One must be poor to know the luxury of giving
Only if we are secure in our beliefs can we see the comical side of the universe
Pick battles big enough to matter, small enough to win
Shared joy is double joy and shared sorrow is half sorrow
Starve the problems and feed the opportunities
Success without honor is an unseasoned dish; it will satisfy your hunger, but it won't taste good
The child is father of the man
The fruits of adversity are sweet
The hammer shatters glass, but forges steel
The incidence of memory is like the light from dead stars whose influence lingers long after the events themselves
There is no greater sorrow than to recall in misery the days when we were happy
There is providence in the fall of a sparrow
There was never a night or a problem that could defeat sunrise or hope
Those who can do cannot preach
Thunder is good; thunder is impressive. But it is lightning that does the work
Travel too fast and you miss all you are traveling for
Truth is eternal, knowledge is changeable. It is disastrous to confuse them
To achieve the marvelous, it is precisely the unthinkable that must be thought
To be or not to be, that is the question
To err is human, to forgive is divine
To thine own self, be true
Water, water everywhere, but not a drop to drink
We cannot forever hide the truth about ourselves, from ourselves
We don't laugh because we are happy; we are happy because we laugh
What force destroys, will rebuilds
You grow up the day when you have your first real laugh on yourself
You too, Brutus

Quotes are from Sun Tzu's "The Art of War"

"The clever combatant looks to the effect of combined energy, and does notrequire too much from individuals."

"Though we have heard of stupid haste in war, cleverness has never been seenassociated with long delays."

"Attack him where he is unprepared, appear where you are not expected."

I use it in my life has helped till date

Try to Read This

Read This
Test Your BrainThis is really cool. The second one is amazing so please read all the waythough.



ALZHEIMERS' EYE TEST
Count every " F" in the following text:

FINISHED FILES ARE THE RESULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTIFIC STUDY COMBINED WITHTHE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS...
(SEE BELOW)

HOW MANY ?




WRONG, THERE ARE 6 -- no joke.
READ IT AGAIN !
Really, go Back and Try to find the 6 F's before you scroll down.
The reasoning behind is further down.



The brain cannot process "OF".

Incredible or what? Go back and look again!!

Anyone who counts all 6 "F's" on the first go is a genius.
Three is normal, four is quite rare.
Send this to your friends.It will drive them crazy.!And keep them occupiedFor several minutes..!



More Brain Stuff . . . From Cambridge University.

O lny srmat poelpe can raed tihs.
cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. Thephaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at CmabrigdeUinervtisy,
it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olnyiprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae.The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.
Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, butthe wrod as a wlohe.

Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling wasipmorantt! ifyou can raed tihs tlel aoubt it to evreynoe !!

Being Shy Costs

NEVER BE SHY TO SAY UR LOVE THAT U LOVE SOMEONE
10th Grade
As I sat there in English class, I stared at the girl next to me. She was my so-called "best friend". I stared at her long, silky hair. I wished she were mine, but she didn't notice me like that.And I knew it. After class she walked up to me and asked me for the notes she had missed the day before, and I handed them to her. She said "thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I wanted to tell her. I wanted her to know that I don't want to be just friends. I love her, but I'm just too shy. And I don't know why.
11th Grade The phone rang. It was her on the other end. She was in tears,mumbling on and on about how her love had broke her heart. She asked me to come over because she didn't want to be alone, so I did. As I sat next to her on the sofa, I stared at her soft eyes, wishing she was mine. After 2 hours, a Drew Barrymore movie, and three bags of chips, she decided to go to sleep. She looked at me, said "thanks," and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her. I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends. I love her, but I'm just too shy. And I don't know why.
12th Grade
The day before prom she walked to my locker. "My date is sick," she said. He's not going to go. Well, I didn't have a date and in 7th grade we made a promise that if neither of us had dates we would go together just as "best friends," so we did. Prom night after everything was over I was standing at her front door step. I stared at her. She smiled at me and stared at me with her crystal eyes. I want her to be mine, but she doesn't think of me like that, and I know it. Then she said, "I had the best time,thanks!" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her. I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends. I love her,but I'm just too shy. And I don't know why...
Graduation Day
A day passed. A week passed. A month passed. Before I could blink, it was graduation day. I watched as her perfect body floated like an angel up on stage to get her diploma. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it. Before everyone went home, she came to me in her smock and hat, and she cried as I hugged her. Then, she lifted her head from my shoulder and said,"You're my best friend, thanks!" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her. I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends. I love her, but I'm just too shy. And I don't know why…
A Few Years Later
Now, I sit in the pews of the church. She is getting married, now. I watched her say, "I do" and drive off to her new life, married to another man. I wanted her to be mine but she didn't see me like that, and I knew it. But before she drove away, she came to me and said, "You came!" She said, "thanks!" and kissed me on the cheek. I want to tell her. I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends. I love her, but I'm just too shy. And I don't know why...
Funeral
Years passed, and I looked down at the coffin of the girl who used to be my "best friend." At the service they read a diary entry she had wrote in her high school years. This is what it read: I stare at him wishing he were mine. But he doesn't notice me like that, and I know it. I want to tell him. I want him to know that I don't want to be just friends. I love him, but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why. I wish he would tell me he loved me… i wish I did too… i thought to myself, and I cried.

A Numerology Thingy

Let me know your number. Once you have discovered your Birth Number, forward
this email to the rest of your friends, including the one who sent this to
you. Put your "number" in the "Subject" and Pass it on.
Your birth date describes who we are, what we are good at and what our
inborn abilities are. It also points to what we have to learn and the
challenges we are facing.
To figure out your Birth Number, add all the numbers in the birth date
together, like in the example, until there is only one digit. A Birth Number
does not prevent you from being anything you want to be, it will just color
your choice differently and give you a little insight.
Example March 20, 1950
3 + 20 + 1950 = 1973
1 + 9 + 7 + 3 = 20
2 + 0 = 2
Keep going until you end up with a single digit number. 2 is the Birth
Number to read for the birth date in the example.
#1 THE ORIGINATOR
#2 THE PEACEMAKER
#3 THE LIFE OF THE PARTY
#4 THE CONSERVATIVE
#5 THE NONCONFORMIST
#6 THE ROMANTIC
#7 THE INTELLECTUAL
#8 THE BIG SHOT
#9 THE PERFORMER

==================================================

# 1 - THE ORIGINATOR
1's are originals. Coming up with new ideas and executing them is natural.
Having things their own way is another trait that gets them as being
stubborn and arrogant. 1's are extremely honest and do well to learn some
diplomacy skills. They like to take the initiative and are often leaders or
bosses, as they like to be the best. Being self- employed is definitely
helpful for them. Lesson to learn Others' ideas might be just as good or
better and to stay open minded. Famous 1's Tom Hanks, Robert Redford, Hulk
Hogan, Carol Burnett, Wynona Judd, Nancy Reagan, Raquel Welch.

#2 - THE PEACEMAKER
2's are the born diplomats. They are aware of others' needs and moods and
often think of others before themselves. Naturally analytical and very
intuitive they don't like to be alone. Friendship and companionship is very
important and can lead them to be successful in life, but on the other hand
they'd rather be alone than in an uncomfortable relationship. Being
naturally shy they should learn to boost their self-esteem and express
themselves freely and seize the moment and not put things off. Famous 2's
President Bill Clinton, Madonna, Whoopee Goldberg, Thomas Edison, Wolfgang
Amadeus, Mozart.

# 3 - THE LIFE OF THE PARTY
3's are idealists. They are very creative, social, charming, romantic, and
easygoing. They start many things, but don't always see them through. They
like others to be happy and go to great lengths to achieve it. They are very
popular and idealistic. They should learn to see the world from a more
realistic point of view. Famous 3's Alan Alda, Ann Landers, Bill Cosby,
Melanie Griffith, Salvador Dali, Jodi Foster

# 4 - THE CONSERVATIVE
4's are sensible and traditional. They like order and routine. They only act
when they fully understand what they are expected to do. They like getting
their hands dirty and working hard. They are attracted to the outdoors and
feel an affinity with nature. They are prepared to wait and can be stubborn
and persistent. They should learn to be more! flexible and to be nice to
themselves. Famous 4's Neil Diamond, Margaret Thatcher, Arnold
Schwarzenegger, Tina Turner, Paul Hogan, Oprah Winfrey

# 5 - THE NONCONFORMIST
5's are the explorers. Their natural curiosity, risk taking, and enthusiasm
often land them in hot water. They need diversity, and don't like to be
stuck in a rut. The whole world is their school and they see a learning
possibility in every situation. The questions never stop. They are well
advised to look before they take action and make sure they have all the
facts before jumping to conclusions. Famous 5's Abraham Lincoln, Charlotte
Bronte, Jessica Walter, Vincent Van Gogh, Bette Midler, Helen Keller, Mark
Hail.

# 6 - THE ROMANTIC
6's are idealistic and need to feel useful to be happy. A strong family
connection is important to them. Their actions influence their decisions.
They have a strong urge to take care of others and to help. They are very
loyal and make great teachers. They like art or music. They make loyal
friends who take the friendship seriously. 6's should learn to differentiate
between what they can change and what they cannot. Famous 6's Albert
Einstein, Jane Seymour, John Denver, Meryl Steep, Christopher Columbus, and
Goldie Hawn

#7 - THE INTELLECTUAL
7's are the searchers. Always probing for hidden information, they find it
difficult to accept things at face value. Emotions don't sway their
decisions. Questioning everything in life, they don't like to be questioned
themselves. They're never off to a fast start, and their motto is slow and
steady wins the race. They come across as philosophers and being very
knowledgeable, and sometimes ! as loner so. They are technically inclined
and make great researchers uncovering information. They like secrets. They
live in their own world and should learn what is acceptable and what not in
the world at large. Famous 7's William Shakespeare, Lucille Ball, Michael
Jackson, Joan Baez, Princess Diana

# 8 - THE BIG SHOT
8's are the problem solvers. They are professional, blunt and to the point,
have good judgment and are decisive. They have grand plans and like to live
the good life. They take charge of people. They view people objectively.
They let you know in no uncertain terms that they are the boss. They should
learn to exude their decisions on their own needs rather than on what others
want. Famous 8's Edgar Cayce, Barbra Streisand, George Harrison, Jane Fonda,
Pablo Picasso, Aretha Franklin, Nostrodamus, and Ron Connolly
(Bragger!!!!!!!)

#9 - THE PERFORMER
9's are natural entertainers. They are very caring and generous, giving away
their last dollar to help. With their charm, they have no problem making
friends and nobody is a stranger to them. They have so many different
personalities that people around them have a hard time understanding them.
They are like chameleons, ever changing and blending in. They have
tremendous luck, but also can suffer from extremes in fortune and mood. To
be successful, they need to build a loving foundation. Famous 9's Albert
Schweitzer, Shirley MacLaine, Harrison Ford, Jimmy Carter, Elvis Presley

A Horoscope Thingy

See if you can be true to your self.
If you are honest this tells the truth - it's pretty good - Write your answers on a piece of paper. No cheating !!!The answers are at the bottom of this page.
No cheating please.
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Questions:-

1. Which is your favorite color out of red, black, blue, green,yellow?
2. Your first initial?
3. Your month of birth?
4. Which color do you like more, black or white?
5. Your favorite number?
6. Do you like Sydney or Brisbane more?
7. Do you like a lake or the ocean more?
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Answers :-==========
1. If you choose: -
Red - You are alert and your life is full of love. Black - you are conservative and aggressive. Green - your soul is relaxed and you are laid back Blue - you are spontaneous and love kisses and affection from the ones you love. Yellow- you are a very happy person and give good advice to those who are down.
2. If your initial is: A-K:- You have a lot of love and friendships in your life. L-R:- You try to enjoy your life to the maximum and your love life is soon to blossom. S-Z:- You like to help others and your future love life looks very good.
3. If you were born in: Jan-Mar:- The year will go very well for you and you will discover that you fall in love with someone totally unexpected. April-June:- You will have a strong love relationship that will not last long but the memories will last forever. July-Sep:- You will have a great year and will experience a major life changing experience for the good. Oct-Dec:- Your love life will not be too great, but eventually you will find your soul mate.
4. If you chose..... Black:- Your life will take on a different direction, it will seem hard at the time but will be the best thing for you, and you will be glad for the change. White:- You will have a friend who completely confides in you and would do anything for you, but you may not realize it.
5. This is how many close friends you have in your lifetime.
6. If you chose:
Sydney: You like adventure. Brisbane: You are a laid back person.
7. If you chose: Lake: You are loyal to your friends and your lover and are very reserved. Ocean: You are spontaneous and like to please people.

The ideal Guy

This one is for the girls
Find a guy, who calls you beautiful instead of hot.
Who calls you back when you hang up on him.
Who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.
Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead.
Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats.
Who holds your hand in front of his friends.
Wait for the one who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you.
Wait for the one who turns to his friends and says, "...that's her."

T-Shirt Slogans

*Hey ya'll. this contains a couple of hilarious and down-right f***ed up T-Shirt slogans that i collected from tshirthell.com. hope you enjoy the lot. read on people.*
*I'M NOT WEARING PANTIES* I would be turned on by this, but any time I hear about a Muslim going commando I just run as a reflex action.
* HOW DARE I WEAR THIS GODDAMN SHIRT IN FRONT OF YOUR FUCKING KIDS?! *Most people think children are the future, but I think they're the present. Which is why I'm not allowed within 100 ft. of a school.
*I RAPE BACK* Is that supposed to be a threat? You might as well tell guys you have no gag reflex and you hate shopping.
*DOMINA-TRIX *Call now to take advantage of our 2 for 1 offer. And remember: the safe word is 'deep-dish'.
*I (HEART) TRANSITIVE PICTOGRAPH VERBALIZATIONS* In addition to that, I also (beet) my wife, (bone) my secretary, (club) retards and (whatever represents neglect) my kids.
*XENU IS MY HOMEBOY* Once a nigga scrapes off your body thetans, that nigga's down fo' life.
*I SUPPORT SINGLE MOMS* It's time to sit down and declare your support for single moms. Won't you lend a lap?
*I'M THE ONE YOU GOTTA BLOW TO GET A DRINK AROUND HERE *You know what? I'm a pretty generous person. I'll go ahead and get you two drinks. Three if you promise not to call.
*WHITE FLOUR! *Nuthin' says lovin' like being shoved in an oven!" He got poked in the stomach one too many times, which is exactly how Hitler got started.
*HOPELESS ROMANTIC SEEKS FILTHY WHORE *And if the hopeless romantic's search is successful, he will soon after begin his search for ointments, antibiotics and a rare shampoo that comes with a very little comb.
*IF I HAD BALLS THEY WOULD BE BIGGER THAN YOURS *At first glance this appears to be a "girls only" shirt, but don't forget about the Eunuchs (like God did).
*2 DRINKS AWAY FROM GIRL ON GIRL ACTION *2 drinks or, if you don't want to wait for those to kick in, just flash a c-note. Just as good.
*ALSO AVAILABLE IN SOBER!! *My 12 step program has an escalator, and a wet bar.
*WHO NEEDS BIG TITS? WHEN YOU HAVE AN ASS LIKE THIS *I couldn't poop for two days because my ass was swollen shut. I never saw you, but you violated me, you bastard jellyfish.
*SWEET DREAMS ARE MADE OF THESE* Who am I to disagree? Traveled the world and the seven seas, everybody's looking for some titties.
* 999 - EVIL WHEN I DO HANDSTANDS *That's why I do handstands at funerals. Otherwise my erection just doesn't seem justified.
*I BET YOU'LL VOTE NEXT TIME HIPPIE *Did you vote with the majority...and stay home? Nice going.
*YOU CAN'T HAVE MANSLAUGHTER WITHOUT LAUGHTER *Laughter is the best medicine. That is, next to any sort of actual medicine.
*BAAAAAA MEANS NOOOOO! *You always hurt the one ewe that you love, unless you use ewes that use lube.
*I'M NOT A FULL-BLOODED JEW I'M JEWish *I got sent to a concentration camp, but it was minimum security.
*THIS SHIRT IS ONLY BLUE WHEN I'M THINKING ABOUT DWARVES *If a dwarf buys this shirt, I'm sorry to say that this shirt will simply burst into flame immediately after you put it on. I'm kidding. We don't sell to dwarves.
*GO LOCAL SPORTS TEAM AND/OR COLLEGE! *Show your support for your favorite overpaid athlete and/or subpar student!
*ABRACADABRA!... FUCK, YOU'RE STILL UGLY *Well, that didn't work. I guess I'll have to saw you in half. Who said anything about a trick?
*EASY like Sunday morning* Are you easy? Easy like Sunday Morning? Or just plain easy? It's ok.
*HUNG HORSE *We used to have a similar shirt that had an Asian guy in place of a horse, but that one didn't sell for more than one reason.
*IF THIS IS ON YOUR FLOOR TOMORROW... WE TOTALLY FUCKED* (now go make me some breakfast, bitch) Make fucking an important part of your balanced breakfast. Stick milk, juice, toast, cereal, and a grapefruit up your ass.

*STOP CLUBBING BABY SEALS *They never buy a round, they dance too close, and their breath smells of herring.
* COULD YOU COME BACK IN A FEW BEERS? *What you might call skunked beer due to lack of knowledge could be a tasty German-style Pilsner to another. Or it could be piss.

*CEREAL RAPIST *In spite of all of their tears; all of his victims managed to stay crispy. I guess that's why we love them.
*I'M WHAT WILLIS WAS TALKIN' 'BOUT* The shirt NBC's Scrubs featured on their 3/30/04 episode and the one we've been selling since 2002.
*SO, I WALK INTO A BAR... *Joke - a rabbi, a priest and a naked Asian guy. Reality - Middle-aged businessmen and despair.
* SORRY FOR BEING SO FUCKING SEXY *There's no need to apologize; just don't let it happen again. This is the last warning you'll get.

*I TAUGHT YOUR GIRLFRIEND THAT THING YOU LIKE *In return, she taught me the Lambada; even though it is... forbidden.
* I TAUGHT YOUR BOYFRIEND THAT THING YOU LIKE* In return, he taught me long division.

*TALK NERDY TO ME *How should I manage my hacker? The same way you herd cats. It can be a bit confusing; they're not like most other workers.
*SUPPORT THE FINE ARTS SHOOT A RAPPER *I said a hip hop the hippie the hippie to the hip hip hop, a you dont stop the rock it to the bang bang bang! bang...

*I'M NOT BLACK, I'M BIG BONED *Whether you are white and have a big dick or you are black and have a dry sense of humor. Either way, you're hilarious.
*TOM IS MY ONLY FRIEND *The rest of my top 8 is a mixture of alcohol, anti-depressants and internet porn.

*THIS SHIRT IS ONLY BLACK WHEN AN ASSHOLE IS LOOKING AT IT *And this sentence only shows up when an asshole is reading it. And this sentence. And this sentence. And this...okay, you get it asshole.
*PREGUNTAME LO QUE DICE ESTA PLAYERA *(Ask me what this shirt says) A latino submitted this shirt idea and we only had to pay him 25% of what we usually pay the winners.

*SORRY GIRLS, THE DRUMMER IS GAY *They do love to pound that bass. Especially if you remove the b. Get it? Take the b off of bass and it becomes ass. Meaning they love to pound ass.
*SORRY GIRLS, THE LEAD SINGER IS GAY *Who the fuck wants to wait for groupies when your fellow band members are already backstage? And you already know they suck.

*TO: WOMEN - FROM: GOD *You know that you're God's gift to women. Now you have the shirt to prove it.
*FUCK THE COLORBLIND *Roses are red, violets are blue: that's true for me, but not for you! Just one more way to taunt the visually challenged.

*I SHOULD BE IN THE KITCHEN *Stirring up an instant cake mix? It's the perfect time to practice fractions. You can also count the pieces of chopped glass you put into the beef stew.
*STOP MIDGET ON MIDGET CRIME *There are no small crimes, only small criminals.

I* WILL NOT REMEMBER ANY OF THIS *Individuals can engage in a wide range of goal-directed, voluntary, often complicated behaviors during blackouts -- from salsa dancing, to having sex with giraffes.
*DIAMONDS ARE A GIRLS BEST FRIEND... BUT MY DICK IS A REALLY CLOSE SECOND *Tired of coming in second? Get a Prince Albert that contains a 2 karat diamond.

*INTERNATIONAL AGE OF CONSENT TOUR *This shirt is a handy guide to who's legal and who's not. It's helpful when you're spreading international relations, and VD.
*I LIKE MY WOMEN LIKE I LIKE MY TRACTORS I CAN'T GET ANY MORE SPECIFIC THAN THAT - PLEASE DON'T ASK ME TO EXPLAIN* And exactly how I like my ceiling fans. The fellas know what I'm talking about. They don't? Well I'm not gonna get into it here.

*I TAKE THE "THE" OUT OF PSYCHOTHERAPIST *A shirt made specifically for all the psycho rapists out there. Which excludes me, because I'm a level-headed, rational rapist.
*REMINDER: BUY MORE BEER (MIRROR WRITING) *This is not just a shirt: it's also a handy reminder, every time you look in the mirror, of your number 1 priority for the day.

*I'M NOT FAT. I'M PREGNANT WITH ICE CREAM'S BABY *You're retaining fudge, double chocolate, butter pecan, caramel ripple and rocky road. That doesn't make your pregnancy any less valid.
*YOUR SISTER IS HOT BUT YOUR MOM DOES THAT THING WITH HER TONGUE *Cooked tongue is lean, meaty, and quite versatile; it works well in sandwiches, tacos, assholes, and casseroles.

*I'M JUST IN IT FOR THE PARKING *But let's be honest, those giant bathroom stalls are pretty sweet, too. I wonder how come they don't have giant urinals?
I* (HEART) JESUS AND FRENCH FRIES *I'm caught in a love triangle. They're both special in their own way, but until Jesus comes with a drive-thru window I'm gonna have to go with the fries. Besides, you can't biggie-size Jesus's love.

*I STOLE THIS SHIRT FROM A HOMELESS GUY- WHY HE HAD A SHIRT THAT SAYS THIS, I'LL NEVER KNOW* Some say homeless people are looking for handouts. Some say they want jobs. That's why I say let's just give them all handjobs!
*I PUT THE "SEXY" IN DYSLEXIA *Tihs oen gsoe uot ot lal hte sexy dyslexics. Fianlyl a sthirt amde ujst orf uyo.

*IF YOU'RE ALREADY THIS CLOSE WHY DON'T YOU JUST SUCK MY DICK? *A great gag shirt. Because they can gag after they read it.
*THE FUNNIEST THING ABOUT THIS SHIRT IS THAT BY THE TIME YOU REALIZE IT DOESN'T SAY ANYTHING IT'S TOO LATE FOR YOU TO STOP READING IT YOU DUMB FUCK*

*SHITTLES (taste the asshole) *I am sad to report that on November 18, 2001, my beloved Shittles died from bloat. She will be dearly missed.
*FUCK CHUCK *Chuck Mania is sweeping the nation. Fuck the nation.

*I'LL BE USING THESE TO MY ADVANTAGE *The Maidenform company was founded in 1922, starting the convention of naming cup sizes A through D.
*I JUST KILLED A CLOWN *Remember that a good clown entertains others by making fun of himself, and not at the expense or embarrassment of others. If he doesn't follow this simple rule: kill him.
*MEDIUM PIMPIN' *Fo' real it don't get no mo' medium man. Don't trip, let's flip, gettin throwed on the flip. Gettin blowed with the motherfuckin Jigga Man, fool.
*I'M HUGE IN JAPAN* And China...and Korea..and Thailand and... You'll have to ask Bill Murray what the Japanese letters mean (hint hint: big dick).

*GO FUCK YOURSELF. I'M AN ASSHOLE AND I APPROVE THIS MESSAGE* Paid for by the commitee to elect fewer cumstains, and more assholes.
*YOU'LL REGRET READING THIS SHIRT WHEN THE SKETCH ARTIST ASKS YOU TO DESCRIBE MY FACE* Being an artist is first and foremost about feeling free to create. Creating something that others have not expressed before or have expressed in a different way.

*I ONLY SUPPORT GAY MARRIAGE IF BOTH CHICKS ARE HOT *There's nothing hotter than two chicks making out, unless it's two chicks making out while they're on fire.
*I'D RATHER BE FIGHTING THE MAN *Elvis was a hero to most. But he never meant shit to me, you see.

*1f u c4n r34d th1s u r34lly n33d t0 g37 l41d* And cybering doesn't count. And you can stop saving yourself for Lara Croft.
*THERE ARE 2 PEOPLE FUCKING ON THE BACK OF THIS SHIRT... JUST KIDDING, BELIEVE IN JESUS!* So why do I believe in Jesus? Because he's real. That night in the library, when I hit the bottom, Buddha wasn't there for me.
*YES, I HAVE PLENTY OF CHANGE YOU HOMELESS PIECE OF SHIT. THANKS FOR ASKING. *I would help the homeless if I just knew where they lived.
*THE REAL SHOCKER* This shirt could actually have 2 meanings. Fisting, obviously, but there's also the 'violence against women angle.' Either way, it's hilarious

*WHAT WOULD JESUS DO? (for a KLONDIKE bar?)* My 15 year old Christian daughter is very angry with God. She needs prayer for all her anger against God. Please pray for her & send ice cream.
*I BRING NOTHING TO THE TABLE *For those of you who think inside the box.
*THIS ORGY SURE IS OFF TO A SLOW START* Proper orgy etiquette is to start with the person on your left, and then continue in a clockwise rotation. And always, ladies first!
* I SHAVED MY BALLS FOR THIS? *No more owchies from getting a hair stuck to a pantyliner. *blush* No more stray curly hairs peeking out from revealing clothing or bathing suits.

*IT'S NOT PMS, IT'S YOU *Many women with PMS find it hard to do things that require concentration, such as balancing a checkbook, following recipes, or making business decisions.
*ASTHMA IS SEXY! *Buy this, and breathe a little easier.
*HE LOVES THE COCK* When your cock knows that you love and respect him, he will want to be with you. He'll sit on the porch in the evening and preen himself, sure signs that he feels at home.
*SOLDIERS NEED HUMMERS PLEASE HELP SUPPORT THE CAUSE*! I know you're willing to lend a hand, but what these boys could really use is a nice warm, wet...protective vehicle.

*IN CASE OF FIRE LOOK ON BACK- I SAID IN CASE OF FIRE DUMBASS *The shirt, the shirt, the shirt is on fire! I don't need no water let the mother fucker burn. OK, a little water would be nice.
*I'M PART OF THE PROBLEM *When people tell you that you're part of the problem, they're generally being polite. Knowing you, you're the whole problem.

*YOU MUST BE THIS LONG TO RIDE *Obey the posted rules and oral instructions: Do not interfere with safety devices. . Do not swing or bounce unless instructed. (space between fingers is approx 8")
*THERE'S A PICTURE OF THE PROPHET MUHAMMAD ON THE BACK OF MY SHIRT... JUST KIDDING, PRAISE ALLAH! (PLEASE DON'T KILL ME)*

*(Front) THERE'S A FUCKIN' ASSHOLE LOOKING AT ME (Back) ...STILL LOOKING AT ME *Fuck 'em. Best of all it doesn't matter whether you're coming or going.
*SWALLOWS *Takeru Kobayashi holds the world record for hot dog consumption at 50 and 1/2 dogs in 12 minutes. He also enjoys fisting, and long walks on the beach.

*I MAY HAVE ALZHEIMER'S BUT AT LEAST I DON'T HAVE ALZHEIMER'S* This shirt is for everyone who... who are you people? How did you get on this site?
*OB/GYN KENOBI *Use the Force Luke... no wait, I meant the forceps... now the Force... and now back to the forceps. Good. Go wash up.

*EAST COAST LAWNMOWERS *Charles Henry Pugh was born in 1840 in Newtown Montgomery. Unfortunately he never lived long enough to see his first lawnmower.
*ONCE YOU GO ASIAN... YOU NEVER GO CAUCASIAN *He is a compelling and exotic little man in his charcoal Mao suit, white socks and enigmatic smile.
* I'M UGLY ON THE INSIDE TOO* When you're feeling down about what you see in the mirror, don't grab for that gray coat. Put on a bright color to kick you back into gear. For example, try red, the most energetic color in the spectrum.
*IV:XX *When in Rome, smoke pot when the Romans do.
*PLEASE TURN ME OVER SO I DON'T CHOKE ON MY OWN VOMIT / THANK YOU* Perform a tongue-jaw lift and remove foreign body ONLY IF VISUALIZED.
*IN THE MOUTH? IN THE ASS? IN THE VAGINA? BETWEEN THE TITS? I SUPPORT A WOMAN'S RIGHT TO CHOOSE *It's all about freedom.

*BAD SAMARITAN *Reach out to fellow human beings and invite them into a friendly and empowering relationship of care - or just poke them.
*RESTRAINING ORDERS ARE JUST ANOTHER WAY of saying I love you *Don't wear this within 100 yards of another t-shirt.
*I'M CUTE? NO SHIT.* Tired of hearing the same cliche shit when flaunting your delicious goodies down the street? Don't even talk back, just wear the shirt.
* IF I CAN BUILD A COMPUTER I CAN MAKE YOU CUM *If you can screw in a light bulb and turn a screwdriver you can easily build your own pc. Personally, I prefer to screw in hot tubs.

*I'M HERE TO KILL YOU - NEXT TIME KEEP THAT CHAIN LETTER GOING* Send 10 of these shirts to 10 people and tell them to do the same. Soon you'll be rich. Ok, I'll be rich.